Pets are an integral part of our families, and a source of love and comfort to children and adults alike. Unfortunately, the courts don’t see pets at family members, rather they are seen as property, just like a lamp or a TV. Fortunately, when I work with clients in a Collaborative Divorce, we can talk about pets as the family members they are. We can create pet visitation schedules, agreements around sharing pet costs, and planning for their care.
I think about all the kids who are going through the huge transition from a one family home to a two family home, and how stabilizing it is to have their pets in either or both homes. Sometimes family pets even move between households with the children. Even stuffed animals can be surrogate “pets” that provide comfort to a child; these cherished toys will need to be remembered when a child moves between households.
I often remember when my parents divorced, and how much my dog, Dalton, comforted me when I was feeling lonely or sad, and am so grateful to have had him in those times.
In Collaborative Divorce and Mediation, we can consider these more human and sensitive parts of changing families to create loving agreements.